Name and Shame

My inbox was sullied by a homophobic email this morning. It happens now and then. Not everyone is happy about my life and they feel compelled to have their say. They're not all THAT bad. Often they're from christians worried about my standing with God and the fact that I "may go to hell". However, this email made me pretty mad and perhaps you'll understand why when you read it.

It started like this: "Melanie, I've noticed that you are friends with ***** ******. Just want to warn you..." At first I though it was one of the emails that I get from people quite often saying that we have mutual friends in common. I opened it intending to quickly read through the rest and my jaw dropped lower and lower, and my heart raced faster and faster as I read to the end. It was like a moth to a flame, or like some people who drive past a car crash. They don't want to see, but feel compelled to look anyway! I didn't want to carry on reading it because I found it so insulting, but I finished it anyway. Then I sat and stared at my screen in open-mouthed amazement. This is what I read:

"Melanie,

I've noticed that you are friends with ***** ******. Just want to warn you against her, she is gay. To be friends with rubbish like her is not good for you image. She don't have any respect for other people or herself and she will do anything to destroy others because she is unhappy with herself. What do you expect from gay rubbish, not anything good can come from them who lives in sin with woman.

Because of her gay life she will never have happiness, she deserves her unhappy relationship, with her woman and their vibrator.

It's will be better for everyone if she just take herself out of this living, because there is no future for gay rubbish in this world.

So it will be good for yourself and your image if you delete the rubbish from your friendslist."

You may have noticed that I have put stars where there should be a name? Well, that's because I am protecting the person mentioned in the email. However, I have NO such inclination to protect the tosser that sent me that email. HUGO JOOSTE has no picture on facebook and is not even on my friend's list. (Believe me, had I found him there, I would have deleted him immediately) I can't decide if he's just stupid or totally vindictive because my profile picture is very obviously of my wife and I at our wedding! Warning me against a gay woman on my friend's list?! Calling her rubbish?! Really??

I just can't quite figure out what his game is. I know this much though. HUGO JOOSTE is a coward. He has no picture on his profile and hides all his info from everyone who isn't a friend. My guess would be that HUGO JOOSTE has no friends. Or if he does, they are possibly just as far up their own asses as he is. Although he probably has the IQ of a gnat (and I mean no insult to gnats!) he is also vindictive because he must have seen my profile picture and yet actively chose to insult me while still keeping himself hidden. Either way, the word COWARD, seems to fit his persona well.

Please note that I have placed a link on his name because there are a few  HUGO JOOSTE on facebook and I don't want the wrong one to be "Named and Shamed". Usually I just turn the other cheek when it comes to homophobia. I'm quite used to it being directed at me. That's what happens when you're under a spotlight. HOWEVER, when you are attacking one of my fans and EXPECTING ME to actually back you, you are more stupid than you give yourself credit for. I will NOT condone that kind of behaviour and I WILL speak out about it. It's time people step out of their caves, and start walking upright. The irony is that neanderthal man very likely had no problem with homosexuality. It's only "modern" man that does.

If you follow the "modern man" link, you'll find that the word "homosexual" FIRST appeared in the bible in 1973. Up until that point, the word, homosexuality was not mentioned in the bible. There are many christians who don't know the following:

• Jesus says nothing about same-sex behavior.
• The Jewish prophets are silent about homosexuality.
• Only six of the Bible’s one million verses refer to same-sex behavior in any way - and none of these verses refer to homosexual orientation as it’s understood today.

An interesting website to refer to is www.soulforce.org. If you are going to insist on standing there and mouthing off at me about my debauched life, then have the decency to do some research and come armed with some knowledge. Most people have so little knowledge of homosexuality and it boggles my brain that they can even say things like "Because of her gay life she will never have happiness, she deserves her unhappy relationship, with her woman and their vibrator.  It's will be better for everyone if she just take herself out of this living, because there is no future for gay rubbish in this world."

I beg to differ but I am gay and I'm EXTREMELY happy and I have a wonderful future to look forward to. And any man who is threatened by a vibrator needs to climb back into his hole. I happen to have male friends who are straight and who ENCOURAGE their wives to use them! As for "take herself out of this living",  firstly, WHAT kind of language is that? Clearly I don't speak monkey. I lose all patience with someone who can't be bothered to write with the correct grammar and spelling, never mind the CONTENT of the text.

What amazes me is that people actually THINK we actively live debauched lives. We go out of our way to flaunt ourselves, recruit people and have huge, drug-infested, drunken and debauched orgies daily. Let's have a look at my wife's, and my, debauched lifestyle on a weekend where I am not working:

Friday night my wife works late every week. I make us a very exciting dinner of fish and vegetables and then I carry on working while I wait for her to get home. Once she's home we usually get into comfy clothes and lie on the couch and watch TV. Frasier usually features quite a bit. We MIGHT have a glass of red wine with dinner but that happens very seldom. We don't generally stay up too late because the week has been busy and tiring.

Saturday day we sleep in until we can't sleep anymore and then we wake up and have jungle oats for breakfast and a cup or two of green tea. If we have no plans, we will get into our gym clothes and head to the gym. If we do have any plans, they usually include grocery shopping or some kind of shopping for the house. Sometimes we do something with our 15 year old nephew, like take him to a rugby game.

Saturday evening involves us back on our couch watching rugby and eating popcorn and bed is usually around 11pm. If our nephew sleeps over, we get a dvd or play WII.

Sunday is usually family day and, seeing as my family live in the UK, we spend a lot of time with my wife's family. 

Sunday evenings are for reading the paper, Carte Blanche and the 8pm movie and then an early night because Monday is back to work.

Are you overwhelmed with shock?! Amazingly, what most people don't seem to realise is that our lives are as boring as theirs! Why is this SO threatening to so many people?! Logic tells me I know this answer, and I've said it so many times before but, at the risk of repeating myself, I'll say it again: PEOPLE FEAR WHAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND. Logically, I GET that and so I can move past the occasional homophobic attack. What I don't understand is WHY they don't TRY and understand instead of opening their mouths and spewing out the most unbelievable rubbish known to humankind. Most of them haven't got a clue about my life, or anyone else's life for that  matter and yet they consider themselves to be experts on the matter.

There are hundreds of dedicated websites listing all the reasons why homosexuality is wrong. People love to pull out bible verses as proof. All SIX of them... Can no-one SEE how crazy that is?! There's isn't even a whole chapter dedicated to it, or two verses in a row. THAT'S how much it apparently bothers God... SIX verses in random places and ALL of them can be explained if someone would just take the time to READ and LISTEN. There are THOUSANDS of bible verses. How about this one: "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned." I think that's a great one to focus on. It makes sense to me. Please can someone explain this to me: If priests and pastors can interpret the bible any way they choose, why can't anyone else who has studied theology, or even someone like me? The minute I try to get someone to read "What the bible says and doesnt say about homosexuality" SOMEONE will jump up and say, "How dare you try and interpret God's word!? 

...........

I'm sorry, but isn't that what people do ALL THE TIME? How else is one going to understand it? Are we all supposed to be like sheep and just follow each other, take everything at face value and never question anything? If we all took the bible at face value the world would be a very different place. No-one would be allowed to eat shell-fish, women would be stoned to death on a regular basis, men would have thousands of concubines at any given time, we would still have slaves, or, BE a slave, ALL men would have beards, there would be NO second marriages and there would be daily animal sacrifices world-wide, just to name a few things. One has to read all these things with a certain amount of intelligence. Times have changed. I know quite a few christians who have divorced and remarried and are still welcome in their churches, while homosexuals are not. It reeks of double standards to me. How can you stand there and insult me, and those close to me, and quote verses from the same bible that also clearly states LOVE ONE ANOTHER. It's not JUST a random verse people! It's one of the ten commandments! "Thou shalt not be homosexual" is NOT.

How can anyone be so selective and be able to justify it?! We pay our taxes, we recycle, we give to charity and we have high moral standards. I know plenty of heterosexual people who don't do any of the above, in fact, they do a lot worse, and they STILL feel justified in lambasting me AND others like me at any given opportunity. Well, I'll tell you, you picked the wrong girl to fight with. I've had it with being told I'm not good enough. I'm tired of people close to me being told THEY'RE not good enough by people close to THEM. I choose NOT to apologise for who I am and I choose not to be dictated to. If that means I lose people in my life then so be it. Life is too short to waste time trying to impress those who will only be impressed if you live your life according to THEIR specifications. I prefer to surround myself with people who build me up, not people who break me down.

HUGO JOOSTE, I pity you. You have so much to learn and I'm not sure if you'll ever allow yourself to because your world seems very small. I hope one day you wake up, but in the meantime, keep your mean little insults to yourself, it does no good to hurt others. Anyone else willing to take me on, just be aware that this is one lesbian who doesn't keep her mouth shut.

Enough is enough.